Non-Sprout

Case I:
(New group member arrives at group meeting place)
(Sees me and his friend talking)

NGM: What! You called me here, and only she has come! Where is everyone else???

Me: (undoubtedly offended) Oh wow! I'm flattered... (sarcastic tone)

NGM: (surprised) No no! Don't be flattered and all..

Me: (duh! leaves)




Case II:
(Friend meeting after two years, friend has long hair)

Me: Why do you tie your hair?

He: So that people around me don't get jealous...

Me: Then why don't you just cut it off?

He: Err.... Umm.... Coz I want people to get jealous of my long hair...

Me: You just contradicted your own statement.

He: Its because, I'm having these hallucinations off late....

Me: Don't you mean 'short term memory loss' ?

He: Err... same thing

Me: :| (duh!)