Non-Sprout

Theme: "Poo"


Name: Rate My Poo
Address: www.ratemypoo.com
Description:
Pictures regarding the 'subject' have been put up for display, for viewers and visitors to rate.


Name: Official Doggie Poo World Site
Address: www.doggypooworld.com
Description:
Story about doggie poo left by a road side. 'Subject matter' is confused about its purpose in life, until a dandelion helps him discover his true purpose of existence and helps his dreams come true. Very cute, if you're into animal droppings.



Name: POO PRICE - How much is your poo worth?
Address: www.pooprice.com
Description:
A site that helps you calculate the worth of your 'subject matter', depending on the time you take to do it. It also has a membership system, where you sign up for free, and get to keep a record, of past 'subject matters' worth. An amazing site, if you have future career plans in this, or any similar field.



Name: eatpoo.com
Address: www.eatpoo.com
Description:
Not remotely related to the 'subject matter', besides the name. Has an active forum, a gallery and even a 'contact' page. The link page has been written in invisible ink, that "Ctrl + A" (select all) doesn't help either. Currently has 682 members, proud to be part of 'eatpoo'..

Hell hath no fury,
Like a woman scorned..

Gone are the days, when women took a beating and wept away in some tiny corner of the kitchen, (the only object bearing the brunt of their anger and hate, being the vegetables, which would get chopped more brutally than usual, for the next meal).
I've always found it quite amusing, to see all the creative ways women find to take revenge on whoever or whatever stung them. Wives tend to give it real bad. Here are some real life incidents that have left quite a few in splits, except the men in question, and their lovers..


When a lady in Birmingham found out that her husband was cheating on her, with her best friend, she put up a billboard for thousands of passers by to enjoy.
The poster reads: 'To my "dear husband" Mark and my "best friend Shelley", You are the most despicable, deceitful people I have ever met.
I know what you did and I'm disgusted. I've changed the locks Mark, burnt your clothes and emptied OUR joint account - to pay for this poster. You deserve each other.'

Another woman found out about her husband's extra marital affair and subjected his underpants to generous dose of itching powder, before she left him for good!

Looks like its gonna be Powerpuff Girls all the way ;)
Beware cheating husbands, or you'll won't know what hit you'll...

Twinkle toes, twinkle toes,
Stretch your fingers,
Wiggle your nose,
Run around like a silly duck,
Smell the flowers,
But don't you pluck!
Find a box and tumble in,
Tumble out,
And all about.

If you read this,
N you're above 3,
You get a mental check up -
FREE!

(I was not drunk, just overdosing on stupidity)

I thought about a thought,
that I thought a while ago,
I thought that that's a thought,
that I should really let you know,
so I think I'll write the thought,
and make all the thinkers think,
but the thought that I was thinking,
just went flowing down the sink....

:|

Case I:
(New group member arrives at group meeting place)
(Sees me and his friend talking)

NGM: What! You called me here, and only she has come! Where is everyone else???

Me: (undoubtedly offended) Oh wow! I'm flattered... (sarcastic tone)

NGM: (surprised) No no! Don't be flattered and all..

Me: (duh! leaves)




Case II:
(Friend meeting after two years, friend has long hair)

Me: Why do you tie your hair?

He: So that people around me don't get jealous...

Me: Then why don't you just cut it off?

He: Err.... Umm.... Coz I want people to get jealous of my long hair...

Me: You just contradicted your own statement.

He: Its because, I'm having these hallucinations off late....

Me: Don't you mean 'short term memory loss' ?

He: Err... same thing

Me: :| (duh!)

Haha!
Breaking news about the big date!

I take great pleasure in revealing the truth of the whole matter, to my ever faithful audience :)

She said: He asked me out!
Truth: She asked him out..

She said: He has been asking me out since a very long time..
Truth: Thats the first time the date topic was ever discussed.

She said: I canceled the date because it was the last date of my college admission.
Truth: She asked him to accompany her to college, since she had to submit her form, but he didn't wanna go, so he canceled the date !

This news has been verified by reliable sources and PeaBrain himself..

PeaBrain has gone underground for security reasons, since his life maybe in grave danger for making a COMPLETE FOOL OUTTA NUTCASE!

Nut Case was not available for comment, since she had gone to get braces fixed!

For more breaking news,
of no concern to you or anyone else on this planet,
stay tunned :p

A few days ago, I decided to get back to being nice to my dear dear blog inspiration (read as: ex-best bitchy friend), so I called her up, and we began our random chit-chat good for nothing conversations.
(Somehow, I'm in a 'conversation-typing' mood off late)

Character list:
Nut Case (pain-in-the-ass) = My 'best' friend
Pea Brain = Guy who asked her out
Me = Blog Writer (like you wouldn't know)

Nut Case: (with perfectly fake enthusiasm) OMG! Hi! Where have you been? Very busy and all, haan?

Me: (with much more perfectly fake enthusiasm) Oh! Nothing much, I've been busy (yeah right), playing and enjoying vacation and all..

Nut Case: (disappointed) Oh..... Okay...... You know what! 'Pea Brain' actually asked me out!

Me: (in utter disbelief) No way!

Nut Case: (gloating with pride) Yeah he did, he has been asking me out since so long, but I kept refusing him, you know, I've been so busy with work and the shifts have been so tiring, but it looks bad to keep refusing na like that, so I thought I'll go out with him...

Me: Yeah....

Nut Case: (flying on cloud nine) Its nothing much actually, we're just going to Bandra, or maybe we'll go to a shopping mall, or Cafe Coffee Day, the one by the beach....
Then later, we might just sit on the beach and talk, you know, the casual stuff....

Me: Yeah and...

Nut Case: (excitedly) and you know, that beach is so famous! We might even see a few film stars there! I'm so excited....

Me: Oh wow! (duh!)

Nut Case: (blushing uncontrollably) and you know what he said??

Me: err... no. What did he say?

Nut Case: (flying again) He said, that we won't travel by train, because he wants to see me all the time, and if we travel by train, then for one hour, he will be in the gents compartment, and I will be in the ladies na.... so he won't get to look at me, can you believe he said that! I was so embarrassed! (giggle giggle)

Me: Wow! He's really head over heels....

Nut Case: Oh! I'm getting another call, I'll call you in a while.... bye!

Me: Bye..

(two days later - Saturday - day of the date)
(my phone rings)

Me: Hello

Nut Case: (excitedly) HI!

Me: (damn!) Oh! Hi Nut Case.....

Nut Case: (giggles) Hi!

Me: You didn't come out yesterday? We expected you to be there...

Nut Case: Oh I was out shopping, I bought this new pair of corduroy pants, but the shade was too light, so it wouldn't go with anything, so I went to exchange them....

Me: Oh ok ok! Cool.. Sooooo you exchanged them?

Nut Case: Ya ya! You know what?

Me: Nope.....

Nut Case: He called up again, to confirm, if we were still going out!

Me: Wow!

Nut Case: He said Bandra would be too far, so we'll go someplace close...

Me: Oh (trying not to sound very disinterested) So you decided what you're gonna wear?

Nut Case: No No! This isn't a date or anything, I'll just pick something up from the cupboard and wear.... (yeah sure you will)
You know, he called up last night, from his friend's cell! His battery was low...
And he called in the morning also!

Me: Oh wow!

Nut Case: I thought I'll just call up and tell you, since you seemed really inquisitive....

Me: (wtf!) I sounded inquisitive???!

Nut Case: (matter-of-fact type tone) Yeah, so I just thought I'd tell you....

Me: (very bluntly) I wasn't inquisitive.....

Nut Case: Hey I gotta go now, I'll call back later, chal bye, take care....

Me: Bye
(drops dead)

Note to readers: Its Tuesday, the date hasn't happened yet......